Getting the family involved?

[smslavin]

Need some help because I'm struggling a bit in getting my wife and girls out the door.

Being there doesn't seem to be the problem. The girls love sleeping in the tent and I made sure to make everyone as comfortable as possible. Good bags for the girls. Double bag for Bec and I. Tent has a nice padded floor and I added REI 3.5 sleeping mats. It's almost more comfortable than our mattress.

The first night outdoors was camping in the backyard of my dad's ranch. The second camp out was with another family whose children are the same ages as ours. At camp, they all kept each other occupied and had a blast digging in the dirt and running through the trees. Even Roxy, our diva, was into getting dirty.

Bec isn't comfortable driving off road. She doesn't want to do it and has firmly drawn a line in the sand. I won't cross it, yet. However, I do want to get them out and more interested in the outdoors and camping as they've shown some interest. I do think if we had an off road excursion where the girls could get involved, learn some things, see some thing, we could get around the corner.

My issue right now is the road trip. The girls are 8, 5 and 2 and when they go south, they go way south taking Bec along with them. How do you get your kids to want to make the road trip? What games do you play in the car to keep them occupied? My truck has no DVD system and probably won't ever have one. The girls, however, do have iPods that they are allowed to use for trips (car, plane, etc).

There's so many place that I want to take them but Bec looks at the drive times and says "No way in hell".

Ideas?

[WA4DQS]

I'd venture a "big picture" philosophical answer by suggesting that if the road trip is a deterrent, then the reward is not sufficiently there at the end of it. I don't think it's anything you are or are not doing. its just how they see it all. I don't think making camping comfortable is the key. Most of us will sleep on a bed of nails if the reward meant more to us than the discomfort that got us there. What's at the end of the rainbow for them all?

I think what motivates us all is merely having something to look forward to. No matter how big or small that thing is, it's the key. And it's highly relative.

My wife got our 8 year old nephew to go four wheeling with us, and he had a blast despite the 3 hour drive to get there. The main draw was we promised he could do things out there he could not do at home.

She promised him he'd fly a kite from a mountaintop, and also one of those balsa wood airplanes with those rubber band propellers, and water propelled rockets.

These were all things he was restricted from doing at home, at least that's how she made it sound to him -- no mountain tops at home to launch kites or airplanes or rockets from.

On another trip we brought these cool balloon launchers -- a little noise-making whistle you put into the tail end of a balloon and it blasts it way up slowly fifty or so feet high. Those were a huge hit. (He never used things like this at home because they'd just land on the rooftops)

This all tends defy the adage "its about the journey, not the destination". But whoever said cliche adages are absolutes?

[unwiredadventures]

Need some help because I'm struggling a bit in getting my wife and girls out the door.

I can get my 2 girls to go on just about any trip since I started them out at 6-8 years old. They love driving out in the desert and camping with friends or just the 3 of us. They're older now so I let them take a chance at the wheel while off the highway and they love having the chance to drive.

I'll get my wife to go on about 1 trip a year. That's about as much as I've been able to do.

Often I use a goal or something they would find fun to get them excited. Like, lets go find that lave tube in the Mojave Desert, or some old wagon road described in a book. Or the Lost Ship of Pearls at Borregofest. Once we tried to build sand castles with water in Kelso Dunes.

It works best when the start of the trip is less than 4 hours away.

For my wife, I make it as comfortable as possible. With a 4" foam pad for sleeping and me doing all the meals, clean up and most everything else. It's also, much more fun for her when other women will be on the trip.

Start off with a trip close to home. Make it real simple and get them liking the idea. looks like you've done some of that.

My wife is also not comfortable doing lots of driving off road. It's one of the reasons for the larger tires and the lift on my truck. The ride is much smoother. She'll be at Borregofest and the runs we're driving will have many stops. This will be more comfortable for her since she can get out and walk around.

My kids are so much more emotional when mom is around. So that brings a different dynamic. A 2 year old may be some work to keep happy. Lots of paper for drawing and books on tape keep the kids happy.

Sometimes, just take the kids yourself and make an appointment at a day spa for your wife while you're gone.

[ssc]

Sean,
I only had one girl, and it was hell. Stand by, it will get worse. I feel for you. As far as answering your question, I never had a house divided. The wife enjoys road trips and offroading. You have the girls and mom playing off each other's negative views. When my kids were young, we would look up the places we were going to visit. Books, magazines, encyclopedia and everyone seemed to look forward to seeing the sights in person. I always tried to make sure we could do a bit of fishing since everyone seemed to like that. When we drove the kids had gameboys and the real issue was when someones batteries died. Then it was a fight for the working gameboy. They also had the pre Ipods. CD players with ear phones. We seemed to play games such as who could spot a deer or elk. Of course, with long trips, nerves can get on edge, so plan many breaks and sightseeing activities. I will say I never camped as a family--or maybe we did--a 3 star hotel was camping. Camping was not going to work so I never would have approached it.

I guess, I knew my families limitations. At the end of the day, having a nice resort to relax at was very welcome. Make no mistake, I am not much for camping myself, having done my share when young. Now that the kids are grown, we talk about the road trips and they are fond memories for all of us and we are planning trips with our grandson.

Best of luck, Steve

[smslavin]

Thanks for the input. I have some ideas. I hope to get the chance to meet a few of you at BF in a couple of weeks.

I only had one girl, and it was hell. Stand by, it will get worse. I feel for you.

Thanks

[cruiserlarry]

When we were dating, and for the first few years after we were married, my wife and I hitch-hiked and camped all the time. However, at no time has my wife ever enjoyed off-road driving; in fact, she doesn't really like driving at all. We have taken many long distance road trips all over with my kids when they were younger, and there were never any complaints or issues, because it was fun to watch our kids experience new adventures. But, given the choice, my wife prefers not to be in a vehicle bouncing around in the dirt, period. Now that our kids are older and out of the house, I have more time to go off-roading - and my wife is happy to let me enjoy myself, while she does things she likes. Would she come along if i asked ? Absolutely. Would I ask knowing she would not really have a great time ? No. We still take trips and do plenty of stuff together, and enjoy each other's company tremendously . At the same time, we accept that we do not always have to enjoy the same things. So, when I hit the trails, I go alone; and I come home to a lady who looks forward to being with a her happy (albeit tired and dirty) husband.

My advice: If your wife (or girlfriend, or whomever) does not enjoy off road recreation, don't force them to join in. You'll spent your time trying to make sure they are enjoying themselves, and miss out on the good time you came for. A great relationship does not require everything be done together all the time...

[BorregoWrangler]

Sorry, Sean, I guess I can't help out on this one as I have no kids of my own. Well, at least not for the next five months. I do know that when our little one arrives we'll be taking him camping at a very early age. I have pictures of myself at 8 months old in Ocotillo Wells and the river with my parents, so camping at a young age has always been the norm in my family.

My wife knew what she was getting into when we started dating and she enjoys heading out in the Jeep with me now and then. I hope you find something that works for your family. Lots of great suggestions here already!

[OLLIE]

I'm with Larry on this one. Don't force them. It's OK not to do everything together. I tak emy son and he LOVES going on "bumps" and camping. He gets pissed when I say we're stopping to put the air back in the tires because he knows that means we're on the way home (usually). My daughter is 15 months rtight now. She will start going with me ewhen she is 3 or 4 like her brother did. My wife absolutely will not camp. I have taken her off roading one time in Big Bear and it wasn't the best experience for her. That's an "around the camp fire" story though. Her issues with camping and being out in the middle of no where come down to a few basic issues. She WILL NOT use a bathroom unless she's setting on porcelain and she can't stand critters (however, she does tolerate me somehow ). She was raised in an RV driving around the US and Canada for several months of the year when she was a kid and refused to stay in an RV because of that. I want to her to go with me but I know it's just not in the cards.

I would recommend leaving your wife at home and just bring the kids (if you can handle them alone). Maybe just take your two oldest at first until the youngest gets a bit older. I have enough stuff in my truck to keep my kids entertained on the drive too and from. Keeps me entertained too... The longest trip I've taken my son on was a two and a half hour run to the trail head then 4 hours back from the trail end. That was the Bradshaw Trail in April of this year. I had no issues what so ever. I have my son trained to tell me when he needs to go the bathroom and I find a good place to pull over so he can take care of business on a folding toilet seat that I can put a bag on if need be.

[photojeeper]

Congrats John! How do you know it is a "him" at 3 months? I do not not have an XYL or children; however from my experience my Dad got me started at 5 years old and love doing it. You just need to accept that not everyone likes doing that and just deal with it. I myself am getting tired of tenting all the time. Looking to getting a Ford F-350 with camper and tow the Jeep so I can have some nice amenities for a change.

JJ

[BorregoWrangler]

Congrats John! How do you know it is a "him" at 3 months?

Thanks! Well, my wife is actually around 4 1/2 months along. We'll know the gender for sure in about two weeks, but she did take an early gender detection test at 12 weeks and it came out 'boy'. So I'll be seeing how accurate it was real soon!