A Little Help Here...

[Railsplitter]

Well, I finally did it... I decided to go for the gusto and upgrade my off-road vehicle. Drove my beloved Pinto down to "White Trash Beaters 'R' Us" and traded it in on this stylin' late-model expedition rig (see photos below). Only $7500 on top of the trade-in... what a steal. Truth be told, my conscience is still nagging me, along with a couple of ex-girlfriends, but the salesman looked flush in his plaid jacket, so I reckon he can handle the loss. Now, Einstein had nothing on me, so before I go rock crawling in the Granite Mountains after midnight, I know I'm gonna need some better lights. This is where you more experienced hands can help me out... should I go with the solar-powered Chinese flashlights off the top shelf at Walmart, using duct tape to mount 'em on the roof, or should I go the hard-wired route, using patio floodlights and fixtures purchased from the nearest Home Depot? Hard-wiring is okay, since I already have an inverter; on the other hand, I also have a huge industrial roll of duct tape. Any advice from those with wiring expertise will be greatly appreciated. One other thing: I was in the Tijuana Chrome Shop yesterday, and the salesman sold me on that whole "lower center of gravity" thing. I'm thinking of swapping out the wheels on my new rig and throwin' on smaller spinner wheels with low-profile tires. I might even put one of those blue lights under the chassis to illuminate rocks as I crawl over them. Any comments or suggestions in this department? Thanks in advance, you guys are regular heroes... Sincerely, "The Railsplitter"

My beloved Pinto...

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My stylin' new expedition rig!!!

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Minor upholstery repair needed, but otherwise good to go!!!

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[DaveK]

Go for the spinners and duct tape.

[Railsplitter]

Okay, the spinners and solar-powered Chinese flashlights are on there and looking good, while the low-pro tires REALLY make a statement in the wilderness, "10-FO'???" Here's the rub: the Tijuana Chrome Shop was fresh out of those blue lights that go under the chassis, but those heroes DID have an illuminated '80s-style disco ball from some defunct downtown nightclub. I hung that flashing disco ball off the lowered chassis before tackling some of the more demanding routes and outcrops in the Granite Mountains, and the thing really interfered with my night vision when it came to checking out the heller drops to either side. I was hoping the disco ball would get scraped like a barnacle on some rock, but ALAS, the thing hung tough, and it actually tore up the granite and bent some frame members on my new rig... those '80s-era disco balls were made by hands who knew what they were doing, 10??? Things are bulletproof... I ought to know, since I emptied several magazines of high-powered assault rifle rounds at this one (LOL). Anyway, we're now in the process of rerigging the disco ball as a defensive weapon, using it to blind would-be robbers and crackerheads in the ghetto... experiments in the field on Ocean View Boulevard have already proven to be successful, so successful that we're actually planning to market the "Defensive Disco Ball" nationwide. Look for it in select shops, and tell 'em "The Railsplitter" sent ya to receive a fully automatic discount, and I mean fully automatic, yeah??? I'm outta here, color me gone...

[Railsplitter]

Forgot to post this shot of my new toy hauler...

Only $3500... what a deal!!!

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