REDNECK YACHT CLUB!!!

[Railsplitter]

My latest island voyager, in her unfinished state... I call her my little Confederate gunboat. Election year, figured I'd go with the good ol' Red, White & Blue, 10-4? The name "HEART OF DIXIE" is a nod to those good ol' boys in Alabama, first to crack on the endless stream of illegal aliens flooding the country. And YES, photos of my fully-restored megayacht will be posted on the Internet and personally sent to incumbent politicians nationwide, as well as to relevant state and federal government agencies.

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The mainsail will have one bar with three stars across it, and the name "HEART OF DIXIE" will be clearly visible as I sail close inshore, whether I'm patrolling the beach in my home town of Coronado, or cruising up and down the channel in San Diego Bay. My new job: NAUTICAL POLITICAL CONSULTANT, with a minor in ILLEGAL IMMIGRATION CONTROL. Oh, yeah, one last thing: "HOW'S THAT HOPE & CHANGE WORKING FOR YA???"

[Crismateski]

Looks great, make sure you post some photos with the sails.

[BorregoWrangler]

Cool! Its like the General Lee, but in boat form!

[Railsplitter]

Yeah, the fun part will be cartopping my baby through this crowded tourist trap all summer and fall, topside-down of course, with that glaring redneck hull visible to all as I crank Craig Morgan on my CD player... I'll take special care to linger alongside tour buses so all aboard can get decent photographs. Oh, yeah, this bad girl is so light that I'll be cartopping her on a standard Toyota sedan, nice and low so everybody gets a good look... pedestrians and other drivers alike. And the upcoming island voyages? Full-on Beverly Hillbillies style, carrying a passenger and towing an inflatable raft with camp gear, jerry jugs of water, additional beer coolers, gourmet grinds, etc., etc. No room aboard the Minifish, don'tcha know? No big deal, we'll launch from Shelter Island and skip beating to windward... just one clean straight shot to the islands, and an easy reach back on the return voyage, with the inflatable raft considerably lighter once water jugs and coolers have been emptied. Yesiree, it'll be full-on redneck style for the boys: "BUBBA & JETHRO DO THE ISLANDS!!!" If I happen to have a hot date, she can ride with the gear aboard the raft... I'll give her 150' of towline, that way I can't possibly hear her carping and nattering over my blasting waterproof stereo, 10-4??? Ah, well, back to my literary project... 145 pages and 80,000+ words so far, and more to come. About another month, I reckon, and I'll sling that project like a truck stop lot lizard, "Roger???"

[Railsplitter]

BTW, the Minifish is 2' shorter than the Laser... in this Obamanomic economy, my boat got downsized, 10-4??? At least it hasn't been outsourced (yet)... that'll happen once I cross the international marine border on my way to the islands. Funny how I hafta go south to escape the flood... Hey, on crowded holiday weekends when I normally wouldn't go sailing anyway, due to excessive marine traffic and fooliots who have no clue regarding the "Rules of the Road", I'll be sure to throw that Minifish atop the Toyota and cruise around town just for the heck of it, taking particular care to bog down traffic on Orange Avenue and Ocean Boulevard, which of course will be PACKED with tourists... THOUSANDS OF 'EM, PACKED IN LIKE SARDINES!!! WOOHOO!!!!!

"WELCOME TO CORONADO!!! HERE'S YOUR SIGN!!!"

Yeah, I'll do that, since the Toyota doesn't burn much fuel, and I'll probably have nothing better to do in terms of cheap entertainment. For days when I actually go sailing, I'm gonna build a redneck Jethro dolly from parts purchased at Home Depot: wheels, axle, telescopic handle for leverage, the whole nine yards. The only criteria: the dolly must be lightweight, and it must telescope or fold down to fit inside the locked Toyota Camry. For more info on the Minifish, check out rvharvey.com---he has some cool shots of a Minifish he restored, posted under the "Boat Stuff" tab on his home page. Cool guy, Mr. Harvey... a kindred soul when it comes to restoring small craft.

"GOTTA GO, ADIOS!!!"

[Railsplitter]

Final observation for the day: this little Confederate gunboat will be cartopped to the Salton Sea, where I'll take advantage of heller winds while searching for the long-lost treasure ship... How that will work is in three stages: driving from Coronado to Borrego Palm Canyon Campground, where I will pay for two nights of camping; waking on the second day and driving to Salton City, where I will launch the gunboat from the boat ramp and spend the day sailing on the Salton Sea, returning at dusk to derig and head back to Borrego Palm Canyon; breaking camp on the third day and leisurely driving back to Coronado, displaying the gunboat hull once more for the general public's benefit...

If I locate the treasure ship, the boys and I will hafta loot her on the sly, otherwise those thieving government greaseballs will steal the doubloons out from under us, 10-4???

[Railsplitter]

Been roped lately, but I will post shots of the fully restored Confederate Gunboat in the near future, complete with primo mainsail... this little megayacht is my new island voyager.