life is funny sometimes
Posted: Sat Nov 13, 2010 10:25 pm
The last few years have been quite a roller coaster for Bec, the girls and myself. I had to close my photography studio and go back to writing software, we sold our house, moved to a smaller house, took a significant pay cut, sold the smaller house, moved into an apartment, changed jobs, lost job about a month ago. I've been contracting here and there so it's keeping us afloat but Rebecca and I have been taking a long hard look at our life and where we want to be as the girls grow older. I have a verbal offer from an old friend at a previous employer that will hopefully turn into written this week. I'll be traveling again but as a bonus, I won't be tied to a physical office but I do need to be in striking distance to an airport. I'll be that guy on the other end of a WebEx that you only know by voice.
As Bec and I have taken stock of our life, we've begun to realize that we've done nothing but live in survival mode for the past 8 years. I've been fortunate enough to make pretty decent money but we have nothing to show for it. We were house poor and everything I made went to our mortgage, property tax and insurance. We've been unable to get a foothold and make plans for the future. We've been slightly selfish and thinking only about where our needs would best be met, not the needs of the girls.
So, we took a deep breath, looked at each other and said, "Now what?"
SoCal, while incredibly beautiful and diverse, is incredibly expensive. Is staying here and just barely squeaking by the best option? We might eventually be able to buy another house here but it's a long time down the road. Living in a small apartment with a family of 5 is doable but stressful. The girls need space, their own space. Room to grow. Room to play. Room to breathe.
When we sold our house here in Solana Beach a couple of years ago, we considered moving out of state. The company I was working for said I was free to move but they couldn't guarantee my future employment. So we bought the smaller house and moved to Dana Point. The idea was put on the back burner where it simmered until a couple of weeks ago.
Where could we go that would fit our lifestyles and provide the girls with the room they need? Where could we go where Bec would once again feel safe and comfortable?
East coast was out. I absolutely love being near the water but I don't have the personality to survive in the north east corner of the States. South east was out as well. While the surfing is reasonable in the Carolinas, there's also the hurricane potential. Bec would like to avoid as many natural disasters as possible. We had done Seattle when I worked for Microsoft. Neither of us want to be cold, gray, damp and miserable again. While I was born in Chicago and went to college in Indiana, the Mid-West is also out. I've done my time with soy beans and corn. What's left? The Dakotas? Montana? Wyoming? Idaho? While I would be more than comfortable living in the middle of nowhere, Bec would not be. Arizona? Maybe but once the thermometer hits about 88, Bec and the girls turn into angry raving lunatics. No thanks. New Mexico? Another maybe. I've spent time skiing Taos but that's all I know. Utah? My dad used to have a place in Park City but that's a small oasis in a crazed sea of religion that I'd rather not be near. Colorado? Hmm. That could work.
The last few weeks have seen us researching towns just west of Denver in the foothills. Bec is fortunate enough to have two close friends who moved there from here several years ago. Next week, Bec is flying up for a long weekend to visit and just check the area out. She's a born and raised SoCal girl and the only time she's spent living elsewhere was when I dragged her to Seattle. Seeing her in the mountains in the middle of winter will be a sight. I do have to admit that when I think about having a snowball fight with the girls, I start having a giggle fit. They've never seen snow. Never experienced the change of seasons or a white XMas.
I moved a lot when I was a kid, domestically and internationally. When Dillen was born, I promised myself that I wouldn't do that to my kids but what have I done? I've moved them as often as I was moved. It's unsettling not to mention tiring. All I want is to be stable and comfortable. Attaining that in SoCal isn't possible these days. Leaving will be difficult as the grandparents are all here. However, they're all incredibly well off and have the means to travel without worry. None of them are terribly excited about the idea but I think they are finally beginning to understand the financial stress we have been living under.
No dates have been set but when this happens, my guess is that it will be after the first of the year. Bec is going up next weekend to explore with her friends. After XMas, we're all going to make a road trip up there for 8 or 9 days. Planning on taking a couple of days to drive up so we can take in a few of the sights along the way. If you've got ideas, I'd love to hear them. Right now, all I have is the South Rim and possible 4 Corners if we can get there.
There was no manual handed out on how life was supposed to be operated. No manual for how to parent either. You can take each test as it comes to you and just hope you're making the right decision. Your kids come first and everything else just falls into place behind them. We'll make it an adventure for them and for us.
As Bec and I have taken stock of our life, we've begun to realize that we've done nothing but live in survival mode for the past 8 years. I've been fortunate enough to make pretty decent money but we have nothing to show for it. We were house poor and everything I made went to our mortgage, property tax and insurance. We've been unable to get a foothold and make plans for the future. We've been slightly selfish and thinking only about where our needs would best be met, not the needs of the girls.
So, we took a deep breath, looked at each other and said, "Now what?"
SoCal, while incredibly beautiful and diverse, is incredibly expensive. Is staying here and just barely squeaking by the best option? We might eventually be able to buy another house here but it's a long time down the road. Living in a small apartment with a family of 5 is doable but stressful. The girls need space, their own space. Room to grow. Room to play. Room to breathe.
When we sold our house here in Solana Beach a couple of years ago, we considered moving out of state. The company I was working for said I was free to move but they couldn't guarantee my future employment. So we bought the smaller house and moved to Dana Point. The idea was put on the back burner where it simmered until a couple of weeks ago.
Where could we go that would fit our lifestyles and provide the girls with the room they need? Where could we go where Bec would once again feel safe and comfortable?
East coast was out. I absolutely love being near the water but I don't have the personality to survive in the north east corner of the States. South east was out as well. While the surfing is reasonable in the Carolinas, there's also the hurricane potential. Bec would like to avoid as many natural disasters as possible. We had done Seattle when I worked for Microsoft. Neither of us want to be cold, gray, damp and miserable again. While I was born in Chicago and went to college in Indiana, the Mid-West is also out. I've done my time with soy beans and corn. What's left? The Dakotas? Montana? Wyoming? Idaho? While I would be more than comfortable living in the middle of nowhere, Bec would not be. Arizona? Maybe but once the thermometer hits about 88, Bec and the girls turn into angry raving lunatics. No thanks. New Mexico? Another maybe. I've spent time skiing Taos but that's all I know. Utah? My dad used to have a place in Park City but that's a small oasis in a crazed sea of religion that I'd rather not be near. Colorado? Hmm. That could work.
The last few weeks have seen us researching towns just west of Denver in the foothills. Bec is fortunate enough to have two close friends who moved there from here several years ago. Next week, Bec is flying up for a long weekend to visit and just check the area out. She's a born and raised SoCal girl and the only time she's spent living elsewhere was when I dragged her to Seattle. Seeing her in the mountains in the middle of winter will be a sight. I do have to admit that when I think about having a snowball fight with the girls, I start having a giggle fit. They've never seen snow. Never experienced the change of seasons or a white XMas.
I moved a lot when I was a kid, domestically and internationally. When Dillen was born, I promised myself that I wouldn't do that to my kids but what have I done? I've moved them as often as I was moved. It's unsettling not to mention tiring. All I want is to be stable and comfortable. Attaining that in SoCal isn't possible these days. Leaving will be difficult as the grandparents are all here. However, they're all incredibly well off and have the means to travel without worry. None of them are terribly excited about the idea but I think they are finally beginning to understand the financial stress we have been living under.
No dates have been set but when this happens, my guess is that it will be after the first of the year. Bec is going up next weekend to explore with her friends. After XMas, we're all going to make a road trip up there for 8 or 9 days. Planning on taking a couple of days to drive up so we can take in a few of the sights along the way. If you've got ideas, I'd love to hear them. Right now, all I have is the South Rim and possible 4 Corners if we can get there.
There was no manual handed out on how life was supposed to be operated. No manual for how to parent either. You can take each test as it comes to you and just hope you're making the right decision. Your kids come first and everything else just falls into place behind them. We'll make it an adventure for them and for us.
). I'm Socal born and raised myself, and lived there until only a short time ago, so I know the feeling. When I give "freedom" as a reason for moving here, I mean financially as well - taxes (business) and the cost of living were big factors driving us out of the state.
